Created to be His Helpmeet, Chapter 5

The Gift of Wisdom

What God says:

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. (James 1:5)

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. (James 3:17)

My thoughts:

James 1:5 has long been one of my favorite verses, and it is SO comforting to know that God has all sorts of wisdom that I can get for the asking.  The best part?  He’s never annoyed by my requests, and He will never scold me for asking for wisdom.  The hairy part?  When I know what He wants me to do (by His clear revelation in Scripture, for example), and I am reluctant to obey.  That’s where faith comes in.  Believing that God knows what He’s talking about (even when it doesn’t seem to make sense).  Believing that He will give me deep peace and true joy when I obey Him (even when humanly speaking the thing He is asking me to do is the opposite of what should make me happy).  Believing that He will give me wisdom to act in faithful obedience and doing what He wants me to do.

I am rejoicing today because there was recently a situation in my marriage in which I didn’t want to obey God.  But He gave me faith and wisdom, and I did.  I was able to build up my husband and become a stronger woman though it.   I did obey God, and let me tell you, it was worth it!

Favorite quotations from the book:

“There will be times in your marriage when it will take faith and wisdom to believe that God is good, kind, and just in His command for you to submit to your husband in everything… What God said stands, regardless of the man’s goodness or the apparent lack thereof.  You were given your blueprints with words like honor, submit, and reverence.  This is God’s will and way, His directive and pattern for you to model.  It is up to us to believe and obey God.”

“I thank God that wisdom is not earned; it is a gift.”

A practical goal for this week:

~Pray for wisdom daily as I run into situations where I lack understanding and pay attention to the answers God gives.  Act of what I know God wants me to do.

Created to be His Helpmeet, Chapter 4

Thanksgiving Produces Joy

What God Says:

I will give thanks to the LORD with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders. (Psalm 9:1)

I will praise the name of God with song and magnify Him with thanksgiving. (Psalm 69:30)

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)

My thoughts:

In many ways this chapter is a continuation of the previous one.  The difference is chapter three discussed thanksgiving more theoretically, while this one is very practical.  As I read, I was challenged to thankfully enjoy each moment, and to focus on God while doing it.

I am very thankful for my husband.  He is not perfect, but neither am I (to be honest, sometimes I’m not thankful enough).  We have some friends who are having some serious marriage problems right now, and I have become still more thankful.  I am thankful for his care for me, for our enjoyable togetherness, for his expressions in music, for his care of Little Man.  And I have been analyzing my own proneness to discontent.

However, as I was thinking about how thankful I am for Benjamin, I realized that I need to not focus my thankfulness on him (the “gift”).  After all, he is human and will fail me at times.  I much focus my thankfulness on the Great Giver.  God is the only one who can satisfy me, and only in Him can I achieve true thanksgiving.  He has given me my Benjamin, and it is He who should receive my ultimate praise and thanksgiving.  When I am securely rejoicing in my faith in and thanks to Him, I will be able to properly express my thankfulness to Benjamin.

A favorite quotation from the book:

“We have learned that all of life is fun and needs to be shared with our best friend, playmate, and lover.  This, then, is the rule of life for wives: Live with thanksgiving, forgiveness, and joy, and enjoy all your moments as if they were your last.  Someday, soon enough, they will be.”

Practical goals for this week:

~Focus on the Giver first of all.

~Think an abundance of thankful thoughts and remember to actually express them verbally instead of assuming that Benjamin can read my thankful mind. ; )

~Think of creative ways to be “fun” in appropriate times and ways.

Created to be His Helpmeet, Chapter 3

A Thankful Spirit

What God says:
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. " (Colossians 3:15)
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6)

My thoughts:
This has been a hard week. A really hard week. While I have had times of enjoyment, of sharing giggling jokes with my husband, of laughing at and delighting in Little Man's accomplishments, I have had had other times of downness that have been very dark. And some of the down times were reasonable, I think. But now it is time for me to move on, rejoicing in what God has given me as I overflow with thanksgiving.

This chapter was a particular encouragement to me this week. I have been challenged again to look at the world through thankful eyes. I looked up the Bible verses that have the word "thanksgiving" in them. Many of the times it is used, it is used in the context of an offering of thanksgiving. While we don't live under the same Old Testament sacrificial system, I think this is instructive. Living a life of thankfulness often takes time, effort, and sometimes even sacrifice. Giving thanks is an act of worship.

A favorite quotation from this chapter:
"Joy begins with thankfulness. Quite often our attitudes hang in the balance; by making a conscious choice, we can tip our souls into dark moods of complaining, or into thankfulness and praise."

Practical goals for this week:
~Remember things that I'm thankful for in my husband each day (BTW, he's making that very easy right now!)
~When I find myself feeling down and moody, remember to look at the things for which I am thankful and not dwell on the irksome side of life.
~Keep an attitude of worship (prayer, encouragement to others, music, thanksgiving, serving others, all can be worship to God). As one of my friends says: "Worship is a lifestyle."

Created to be His Help Meet, Chapter 2

A Merry Heart

What God says:
"The joy the the Lord is my Strength." (Nehemiah 8:10)
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but broken spirit drieth the bones." (Proverbs 17:22)

"For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens. Splendor and majesty are before Him, strength and joy are in His place." (I Chronicles 16: 26-27)

"But let all who take refuge in You be glad, let them ever sing for joy; and may You shelter them, that those who love Your name may exult in You." (Psalm 5:11"

"Then those who sing as well as those who play the flutes shall say, "All my springs of joy are in you." (Psalm 87:7)

My thoughts:
This chapter focuses on having joy and how a heart-attitude of contentment and joy combined with the outer workings of that attitude (smiles, laughter, and good humor even in tough situations) are attractive. I know that a joyful life-view is attractive. I would rather be with a friend who is enjoying life and looking at God's goodness than with one who is always complaining and moping and refusing to see the cheerful side of life.

When my life is full of joy and its "symptoms," my husband (not to mention other people, though he's the most important) will enjoy being with me much more. Even when I am feeling tired and ill, I can still be a joyful, pleasant person to be with.

Since joy is such a needed quality to hold relationships together, I did some extra study on it. Since I like Webster's 1828 dictionary so much I looked up "joy" and "joyful" in it. Here are my summaries of their definitions:

Joy: excitement or emotion caused by success, good fortune, or acquiring something good or desired. Gladness, exultation, exhilaration, delight, happiness, festivity. My favorite description is, "a glorious and triumphant state."

Joyful: full of joy, or exultation; very glad.

I also looked up the verses in the Bible that have the word "joy" in them, as Debi Pearl suggested. I found some interesting and enlightening common themes throughout. The majority of the time, joy is connected with God, His provision, His care. This gives insight as to where my Joy comes from. I can't base my joyful attitude on how well my projects and house work are going, or on how happy and appreciative my husband is, or on how sweet and obedient my son is being, or on whether the sun is shining, or on whether I got a good nights sleep. No, each of these things is temporal and changeable. If I try to base my joy on them, my attempts at being joyful will flop dramatically. I must base my joy on GOD and what He has done and is doing in my life. If I base my joy on Him, I will be able to be joyful no matter what my external circumstances are. (Remember: "The Joy of the LORD is my strength.")

I was also fascinated by the external "symptoms" of this joy in the Lord. Over and over again I saw that this joy was expressed in music, dancing, and shouting. People's praise overflowing in singing, playing stringed instruments, trumpets, flutes, and tambourines. And in accompaniment to the music was joyful, worshipful dancing. I also found a correlation between thankfulness to God and joy in Him with people's obedience. Their joy in His goodness and provision motivated them to obey the commands He gave. Another common expression of joy was celebrating and feasting. I think this goes to show that when we are filled with that thankful, God-centered joy, it will affect every area of our lives.

A favorite quotation from this chapter:
"Few women ever know what it means to be cherished by their husbands...Being cherished is much, much more than being loved. It will be worth all your effort."
"Bubbling cheer goes a long way to maintain or even restore a marriage. Make a decision right now to break the "poor me" habit. Today, put it down as sin and rebellion, and then tomorrow, wake up with joy in your heart and home."

Practical goals for this week:
~Once again, be cheerful in the morning and evening, even when I'm tired.
~Focus with thanksgiving on what God has enabled me to get done instead of focusing on and mourning over all the unfinished tasks.
~Make God and His marvelous provision and goodness my focus to give me a true foundation for joy.
~Share with my husband each day how God was good and how He provided.
~Smile and laugh with Little Man.
~Smile at Benjamin and make him laugh when I can.
~Enjoy the life and tasks God has given me.

Created to be His Helpmeet, Chaper 1

God's Gift

What God says:
"For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man." (I Corinthians 11:8-9)

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour of the Lord." (Proverbs 18:22)

"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband." (Proverbs 12:4)

My thoughts:
God has made me with a certain plan in mind, with a purpose for my life. I can choose to be selfish, disobedient, and unfulfilled as I try to make myself what I want, or I can choose to be obedient and joyful in His will even if it doesn't make sense when compared to our culture's standard. I am choosing to obey, to bring glory to Him through my life, and to find inexpressible joy though conforming to His pattern for my life.

God has given me to my husband as a gift. His pattern for me is to be suitable helper to my husband. I decided to look up the words "virtuous," "help," and "meet" in Webster's 1828 dictionary to help me gain a broader view of what is obviously so important to God. Here are the summaries of what I discovered:

The word "help" includes aiding and assisting in work; of delivering, assisting, or helping someone who is in distress or trouble; of remedying and healing; of helping forward, aiding over difficulties; and serving.

The word "meet" is clarified by the following words: fit, suitable, appropriate, qualified, adapted, right, qualified, and prepared.

The word "virtuous" includes the following ideas: being chaste, acting in conformity to God's moral law, abstaining from vice. Webster clarified, however, that merely performing some virtuous actions does not make the person doing them virtuous. I think his idea was that it has to be a heart attitude.

This is a pretty big job description! I know I can not do it without God's Spirit giving me power, but I trust Him to work in me and through me. "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6)

A favorite quotation from this chapter:
"God made you to be a help meet to your husband so you can bolster him, making him more productive and efficient at whatever he chooses to do. You are not on the board of directors with an equal vote. You have no authority to set the agenda. But if he can trust you, he will make you his closest advisor, his confidante, his press secretary, his head of state, his vice-president, his ambassador, his public relations expert, maybe even his speech writer--all at his discretion."

Practical goals for this week:
~Be cheerful in the mornings and at night even when I'm tired.
~Prepare Benjamin's breakfasts and lunches to take to work the evening before.
~Pray for Benjamin faithfully throughout the day.
~Be aware that when I am serving Benjamin, I am serving Christ as I keep my eyes open for things that should be cared for.
~When the going gets tough focus on Christ, my perfect example, who did not come to be served, but to serve.